Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i just google imaged poop.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
