hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
