have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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