we're blogging at a bar
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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