Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
