i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
