dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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