I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
