just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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