Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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