My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
