Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
