Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
