then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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