Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
