I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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