So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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