i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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