Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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