I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
