hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
