matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
