Christians are straight up FREAKS
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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