He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
