What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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