does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
