His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize