I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am naked and annoyed.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
