My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
