do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Hippo gnu deer
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
