U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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