Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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