:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
