she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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