If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
