I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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