He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
