You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
