I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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