And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
