White coat. Heels.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
