This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
