I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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