I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
