Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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