How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If I die, sorry about rent.
All the doctor said was why
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
