I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
apparently the secret to your success is patron
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
