I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
