you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
