i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
