we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize