if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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