the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
