So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
