2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
