Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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