His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
