have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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