i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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