I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
