just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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