it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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