my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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