Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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