Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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